Breaking the rules already

Saturday 11th October 2025

 One thing I can say about a lot of the content I have read/listened to (one might say consumed, ironically of course) about underconsumption and shopping bans, is that most of the time these women are not mothers. They don't have little mouths to feed. Or small bodies to clothe. Or clever little brains to entertain and grow (apart from their own!) 

Which may be why I already feel like I have broken the rules. 

Rule #2 - Can't buy impromptu take aways/meals out.

Today, after our usual ritual of parkrun followed by a visit to the Auntie's, we decided that since Jessica's swimming lesson had been cancelled this week that we should take advantage of our family gym membership and go swimming. It wouldn't cost us anything, as it is covered in our monthly membership fees. But we were nowhere near fuelled enough and the slot started at 1:30PM. It was already 12:30 and we had no swimming stuff packed, we were 25 minutes away from the pool and we had two very overexcited children. So what did I suggest? A quick drive thru McDonalds before running home to grab towels and costumes. It was actually a great decision even though, much to my disgust, it set me back £18.74 (when did a quick McDonalds get so expensive?! Can you believe a Happy Meal is nearly a fiver now?)

This whole experience has made me realise that there will be times on this journey of consuming less where I will have to allow the odd rule to be broken. Or maybe I just need to adjust the rules a little bit to take into consideration my own circumstances - kids that need to be fed, a mum who is not always going to be perfectly organised. I am only human after all! It happened, I will move on now without beating myself up too much.

So far one thing I can say for sure is that I definitely relied too much on things that cost money in the past. There are times when I want to suggest "let's pop to the shops and grab a hot choccy and mooch around TK Maxx" but I know this isn't an option anymore. It was a great way to pass the time when the kids were overstimulating my brain, I'd get a caffeine fix, Jess would spend our hard earned cash on toot she doesn't need and Ralph would be confined to the pushchair which meant I wasn't hyper focussed on keeping him alive as he often likes to get himself into dangerous situations as I'm sure most 1 year old boys do. I am only assuming here though, Jess was never like this, Ralph is always finding ways to hurt himself. This week, when the overstimulation occurred, I said to the kids "let's go to the park". It went down well with the boy. The girl needed some convincing.

In the end, I got everyone out of the house and Jess, who was quite against the idea as she didn't want to walk, all of a sudden became a different person. She let the anger dissipate into the crisp autumnal air and plodded along next to me to one of our local parks, more specifically, not one we usually go to for a change of environment. They both had the best time and we were out later than intended. It made me realise that kids need to be kids. Mooching around TK Maxx would have been torture when I didn't want to spend any money. Plus I'm teaching them bad habits - almost that going shopping is an activity to do when you're bored. Is that a big reason why we consume so much? Because it's less effort to get that fast paced dopamine hit from a cute new jumper and matching boots from a store than it is to walk to your local park with your kids and play make-up games with them? Giving them the environment that allows their imaginations to flourish must be better than a trip to the shops. 

I don't know about you, but I am noticing a trend. Humans are so drawn to the path of least resistance. We are so much more likely to sit on the sofa at the end of the long day and switch on Netflix than we are to do a workout then sit down to read because the latter is more effort. Yet, it'll likely be the thing that grants us much more reward. And yet many of us will be happy to accept the mediocre reward from just watching the tele over the workout and reading. Because it's easier. I get it, it's an evolutionary drive to conserve energy. Plus if it's something we have always done, then we are likely to keep repeating those habits. But we are no longer hunter-gatherers and we know more now about creating new habits and how to make them stick than ever. 

This even goes back to my rule breaking. As I could have suggested a pit stop at a supermarket so I could grab sandwiches and fruit but I chose the drive thru option as it didn't even require getting out of our vehicle. Just goes to show that we aren't going to be perfect every day and we will learn a thing or two along the way! If anything, this experience has given me an idea to always make sure there is meal prep available in our fridge. If I were to spend time a couple of times a week batch cooking some simple foods - tuna pasta, Spanish omelettes, chicken/veggie rice, for example, then there would always be easy accessible (and healthy) food available to just grab if we were left without time to prepare/cook a meal. It's not like it would ever go to waste, Ian always needs lunches for work and if it means I don't have to prepare lunches for Ralph and I during the day then that's just an added bonus! He does get annoyed with me at times if I spend too much time in the kitchen rather than on the floor playing trains (he's the most typical boy I've ever known).

The more I think about today, the more I realise that my rules will always need to allow wiggle room. My lifestyle will look a lot different from the childless women sharing their underconsumption journeys. The most important thing is that I continue to teach my children good habits. I hope that there was even a little lesson learned from our park trip or our swimming trip, in that you don't have to spend loads of cash to enjoy time together as a family. I admit that with Jess, I am now having to undo a few years of bad spending habits that she has witnessed, but in time I hope she starts to get it. We are a generation of consumers and hyper-consumption has almost become normalised. What is normal consumption? 

I think that there would be a lot of differing opinions on this matter. For me, I believe that normal consumption is exactly what I am trying to do right now. Yet society would probably call it underconsumption. I've no doubt some may call it being stingy. I'm calling it survival. Keeping my family afloat whilst also trying to do a good thing for our planet.