Being a regular mum

 I know I've joked in the past about the fact that my step daughter says I'm not just a regular mum, I'm a cool mum - absolutely hitting the spot on the Mean Girls quote even though she's fully a Gen Z girlie, long live Regina George and her army of skanks - in the world of fitness and weight lifting, I am 100% regular. Sometimes, I catch myself scrolling social media and comparing myself to other gym goers that are in their twenties, still live at home with parents and do not have children and I am in awe of their physiques and progress. But then I have to remind myself that there's a whole load of reasons why they have tonnes more time to go to the gym, or to exercise, or to take more time meal prepping and so their journey is not the same as mine.

"Comparison is the thief of joy" - something I have heard many people in the fitness space say and something I really truly have to hone in on every now and again because my journey is unique to me and through my eyes I may consider myself regular, but to someone that has never stepped foot in a gym environment I am far from it. They might look at me and think "I wish I had the confidence to train when I was pregnant" or "I wish I could pluck up the courage to go into the free weights section of the gym". Which is why I feel like it is my responsibility to be here to tell my story to all the regular mums who are in the thick of parenting life. The constant demands of the new-born stage, the relentlessness of toddlerhood, the juggle of work and parenting and the ENDLESS school activities you have to remember. Shout out to the parents of school aged children, how are you finding remembering when its a non-uniform day, to pack food for the harvest festival, to buy contributions for the Christmas school fayre and send your child in with money for the school book sale?

The important thing, for me, is to keep showing up. I show up for myself of course, but there are other people I show up for. I show up for my children, so they will always know that being active is part of a healthy lifestyle and taking time for yourself is something to be prioritised and not a punishment. I do it for my relationship, because my partner and I feel better when we have trained, we are a team and so ensuring we are both in a good headspace is an important part of our journey as a couple and as parents. I do it so I might inspire someone else to take a positive step towards a healthier lifestyle too. There is nothing I love more than someone popping out of the woodwork to tell me that my journey has inspired them to hire a coach or start weight lifting or even just start walking more. Those first steps are so exciting. And no thing is too small, we all have to start somewhere.

You don't have to look a certain way in order to exercise. Looking a certain way is the by-product of exercise. Don't wait until you get to a certain size. I remember my heart breaking when someone very close and important to me said that she would start going to the gym when she gets to a size X. As if she needed to be a particular size in order to go to the gym. It's not like I don't understand. I remember being in the thick of my antenatal depression, when I'd cry before getting out of bed and struggled to even dress myself. I thought that my body did not belong in the gym. It never stopped me from going, because I knew that it was the Black Dog in my brain talking at that point and I went anyway, not because I was motivated but because it had already become part of my identity - I was Amber that goes to the gym. So when this person said this, it really saddened me! But I am not the sort of person who would argue with them and make them feel uncomfortable, I accepted that they would go when they felt comfortable and offered help and solutions as to how they would lose weight to get there. 

Basically, you don't have to have an all or nothing approach to your healthy lifestyle. For me, being a regular mum is part of who I am. Most of the time I have some kind of food smeared on my clothes from my baby and I'm often found behind a pile of laundry just trying to get on top of it. Sometimes I remember to pack school lunches, other times she can have school dinners because I got up a bit late or the baby was feeding most of the morning. Then there are some snippets of the day when I get to put on a fresh set of gym clothes and slick my hair back, I'll even spray a little bit of perfume if I'm feeling bougie and just for an hour I'll head to the gym. Beast mode activated. For an hour I'm not mummy with old breastmilk on her top and Weetabix crusted and turned to concrete on my joggers. It reminds me that I am a strong woman and a force to be reckoned with, then when I get home it's back to baby feeds & stories in bed with my 5 year old. Shout out to Isadora Moon, love that my daughter's entered her next phase - books with chapters!

I hope this has given you as much joy to read as it has for me to write. I love talking about women in the fitness space and I will always try to make it an accessible lifestyle for everyone. Even if you're a regular mum in the fog of parenthood, you are allowed to take up space in the gym. Even if you don't think you're the right size to go to the gym, you deserve to be there too. Even if the gym doesn't feel like the right environment for you, there are so many benefits to all kinds of movement! A daily walk will do more for your mind, body and soul than you know.

Thanks for being here.

Love Amber, xo