A little big journey

 Hello and welcome back to my little thoughts journal. Tonight I want to write down a bit about the journey I've been on so far with my weight loss and lifestyle changes, because oh boy it's been a journey. But this little journey gave me so much more and has led on to bigger things, for me and for my family. Some people might wonder why I'm so passionate about this field - fitness, weight loss, gym-going, lifting - and I am passionate about these things. But the subject that fascinates me the most is actually the mindset behind it all and the way in which we speak to ourselves that makes doing all of these things a non-negotiable level of self care that is more important that any kind of skincare regime or bath time ritual you can buy on the market. The whole journey, for me, has been an education.

We have to rewind pretty far back to get to the root cause of why I needed to embark on a weight loss journey in the first place. All the way back to my childhood, from the late 90's to the early 10's where women's bodies were such a subject of discussion. I was among the generation of thigh gaps, America's Next Top Model, glossy magazines of stunning women and trashy magazines of "normal" bodies being slated for not looking absolutely perfect at every angle. It was a minefield. And it seemed that most of the women in my life around me at the time were on some kind of diet to lose weight. There definitely was not a positive influence around me who taught exercise for the joy of movement and health, it seemed that exercise was used solely for the purpose of changing the way ones body looked OR for some kind of punishment after a calorie dense meal or a day "off track". Looking back at it now, it was insanely twisted and totally toxic. I was none the wiser.

So it's no wonder I went through my late teens and early twenties following suit. Not just from the array of diets and supplements but also the way I viewed women who clearly prioritised their health and fitness. To me, they were "gym bunnies" - showy women who did it for attention. I hate to think I was taught this behaviour, because really it was my own insecurities being projected onto these women, because I actually wanted to be like them I just didn't know how. For me, it was an impossible standard. Because I had not been given a proper education on how to go about the simplest things such as losing body fat, changing my body composition and building muscle. And not just that, the education of how to speak to ones self in a manner that promotes health and exercise because my body deserves to be looked after, because there is so much joy in movement and it can help me to connect with my inner child to embrace fun and imagination. Exercise is so much more than how it can make your body look.

I am still left shocked when I hear (older) women around me talk about their bodies and their diet. Regular phrases that come up like "I'm cutting out carbs", "I'm not really on it right now", "I'll start again in the New Year" and "I don't like the gym because I don't look like the people that go to the gym" are all legitimate phrases I have seen or heard somebody say. The Amber of old wouldn't think twice about these sentences, in fact the Amber of old probably said or thought a lot of them herself. But with the correct education on my journey and the copious amount of research I have done so that I am able to educate others, I realise that these are all really toxic thought processes. Our diets should not be restrictive, we should never be on or off of eating a healthy and balanced diet and we should exercise for longevity of life. Whether we are complete gym newbies or whether we have been lifting weights in the gym since 16. The ultimate goal is to live for as long as possible on this Earth. 

We all have to start somewhere. I've been in and out of the gym since the age of 16 when I started going to spend 20 minutes on the treadmill, 20 minutes on the cross trainer then 20 minutes on the exercise bike. That led to hiring a personal trainer and dabbling with circuit and HIIT training (shout out to my first ever PT Matthew Puttock, same surname, not related! Weird!). Which led to dabbling in a bit of CrossFit style training in a different gym. I definitely spent a couple of years trying to run, but all the time with big gaps in between and never training consistently as well as tidying up my nutrition at the same time. Of course, I always tried, but I don't ever remember having the right tools, I always just assumed I had to eat 1200 calories a day as per the MyFitnessPal recommendation for maximum weight loss! Definitely not the one. Don't do that my friends. It's too restrictive and just shit. You have to eat.

Fast forward to September 2021 when I hired my online Coach - Matt Austin of MPA Fitness. He taught me so much. But it wasn't information given to me all at once, it was an education built up over time. From things like meals and recipes that would help me hit my protein target and stay within my calories, to simple home workouts that I could do in the evenings once my daughter had gone to bed, to how to build habits such as walking every day to increase my NEAT and build my general fitness. I just consumed the information over the space of a year and a half, building on it by reading or listening to further literature that would keep me motivated and give me more ideas on how to make this a sustainable lifestyle. The whole point, to put this very clearly, is that your weight loss journey has to become your lifestyle that will evolve over time as your goals change over time. You do not have to be on a diet forever. Because sustainable weight loss can happen when you prioritise it as self care. Feeding, fuelling and exercising your body is self care. Our bodies have been built to do hard things. It's just that as we have evolved as humans, we have enabled life to be very bloody easy. The outcome being our bodies suffering. And then, potentially, our mental health.

Our mental health, mindset, how we talk to ourselves, it all comes under the same umbrella when it comes to our weight loss journey. For me, when I started putting my needs first, not necessarily ahead of my daughters, but definitely in front of other peoples needs and my need to people please, that's when I found my passion for this life. Everything looked brighter, more colourful, more fun and made me wonder how I hadn't figured it all out sooner. For the first time, potentially ever, I loved myself. Not just the body I was in but my drive to push hard in the gym to get strong, my determination to be the best version of myself and I was in awe of my own abilities to do things like run a 5k or fit a gym session in to my work day. There was a time when I was a single parent managing a full time job but I still got it done because it became so important to me to look after myself. I want that for every woman. That mindset of being strong, empowered and worthy is one that should be engrained into young girls as early as possible.

So, my friends, consider this your sign to start now. Not later. And make it in a way that promotes longevity of life.

Love Amber, xo

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AMBER PUTTOCK | FITNESS COACH (@amberloufit) • Instagram photos and videos